Rules for married dating

25 Nov

But sex is no more a moral issue than eating a good meal.The fact that we eat most meals at home with spouses and partners does not preclude eating out in restaurants to sample different cuisines and ambiences, with friends or colleagues.Here, couples endure the challenges of child care, work pressures, mid‑life crisis and dwindling marital sex against a backdrop of repressive Anglo-Saxon hang‑ups about infidelity, seen always in pejorative terms such as “cheating”. Statistics confirm that British and American divorce rates are among the highest in the world.Around half of American first marriages end in divorce, closely followed by a third of first British marriages, floundering under unrealistic pressures, often celibate marital beds and drastic overreactions to infidelities.These range from affairs between work colleagues lasting years to holiday flings lasting a few days.Almost half of Finnish men and almost one third of Finnish women have had at least one significant parallel relationship.It’s time to start honing our seduction skills and join the playground.Yet it is the most puritanical nations, including Britain and America, that have traditionally resisted the notion of adultery most rigorously.

Sex is everywhere and it is also clearly separated from marriage.

If the internet offers a direct line to affairs, with a proliferation of websites for adults seeking a sexual partner outside of their marriage, it is worth remembering that our richer ancestors practised their own privileged version.

Emperors cavorted with courtesans, kings chose their wives for political manoeuvres and their mistresses for company, the aristocracy married for money and took lovers for pleasure.

This killjoy attitude frames affairs as deviant escapism and fantasies without merit for people who have failed to grow up.

Counsellors form a kind of emotional and intellectual police intent on keeping the door to infidelity locked.